Love. Lately I haven’t been able to get this subject off of my mind. I have been overwhelmed with the realization of how great God’s love is for us, his children. And likewise, I have been filled with a desire to truly love like He does.

I’ve always thought that I’ve been pretty good at loving others, even people who I don’t know. If there is one thing that I feel like I am gifted at, it is loving people. I don’t say this in a prideful way, I have never been perfect at it by any means, but I recognize it as one of my strengths. I know the 5 Love Languages like the back of my hand, and I am almost fluent in all of them (I blame my parents for this). I find great joy in making other people feel loved.

But there is still SO much I have to learn about loving others well. And lately, God has been challenging me in this even more.

It is pretty easy to love most people. But throughout my life, there have been a few who I must say, have been more difficult. I’m sure you can relate. That person who rejects you, who says mean things about you, who hurts you and those close to you, who doesn’t love you in return, and who may straight up bully or persecute you. Those people…are a little harder to love. Sometimes it feels near impossible.

But we still need to love them. Here’s why…

“If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.” – 1 John 4:20-21

If we truly love God, we must love other people…all people. When this passage says “brother,” it’s not just talking about the brother in our immediate family…it’s talking about all people. Even the mean ones.

When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, here’s what he said:

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” – Matthew 22:37-39

As followers of Christ, loving other people is not optional. We cannot be true followers of Jesus if we do not love other people, and we cannot pick and choose which people we are going to love. We are called to love ALL people, as Christ loves us.

Now, it can be rather easy to just say that we love someone (we sometimes use that as a quick fix, “I forgive them! I love them!”), but it’s quite a different story to show it and truly love them in our hearts. In the end, it doesn’t really matter if we say we love someone…what matters is our actions and the content of our hearts.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person? Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.”      - 1 John 3:16-18

Let’s make it a priority to show the truth of our love by our actions. This is the only way the world will know that we are true disciples of Jesus.

One thing that I struggle with is that I can easily over-commit myself and that often leads to a life that is busy and at times overwhelming. I have good intentions…I want to be there for everyone, do everything for everyone, and never let anyone down (But let’s be honest, that’s impossible.) I want to do all of this because I truly love people and want to help however I can. I just don’t always have a realistic perspective on how much is too much.

Yesterday, my husband Jonathan tweeted, “It’s easier to fill your schedule than fulfill it. Busyness does not equal significance.”

Whoa, that really resonated with me. It’s so true! I can easily fill my up schedule with lots of good things (and write it all out in my awesome planner), but if I fill it up too much with no time for rest, when it comes time to fulfill that schedule…it is near impossible and I am left feeling beat tired.

Even when I do allow time to rest, I rarely can. Many nights when I’m trying to sleep, my mind will race with all the things that I need to do. If I have given myself some downtime and attempting to do something fun or relaxing, I am often flooded with feelings of guilt regarding the “more important” things I’m not doing with that time.

This is a problem. And I know it’s something that many people struggle with. Busyness almost seems like a core value in our society. But In order to truly live a life of peace, we need to work on the art of being still.

“Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10

When I think of this issue, I am reminded of the story of Mary and Martha in the New Testament (Luke 10:38-42.) Jesus and his disciples visited the home of two sisters, Mary and Martha. During their visit, Martha was busy making preparations and being the hostess with the mostest, while Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to him. Martha got irritated with her sister, and said to Jesus, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”

What a wonderful example this story is. Martha was keeping herself busy, and felt like she had to earn the approval of Jesus by striving and doing all of these things. But her sister, Mary, discovered the best thing…the art of being still at Jesus’ feet and listening to his voice.

In a world filled with Marthas (and many of us striving to be like the other Martha), I want to remember to be like Mary and learn to be still at Jesus’ feet…surrendering to Him…listening…and truly resting.

Is this something you need to work on as well? What are some practical things you can do to practice rest in your own life?

Hello, my name is Tiffany, and I’m a recovering perfectionist.

Perfectionism is something that I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember. I have always had very high expectations of myself and everything that I have done. And if I wasn’t able to meet my very high standards of excellence, I would be left feeling defeated and like a failure, even if the end product was good.

This is an exhausting way to live. Why? Because it is impossible for everything in our lives, for everything that we do, and for our surroundings to be perfect. It is just not possible. We live in an imperfect world, and we ourselves are imperfect. So why do we put that kind of pressure on ourselves?

I used to think that being a perfectionist was a good thing. That it was almost something to be proud of. And in some ways, I suppose it does produce good results at times. If we aim for perfection, even if it isn’t attainable, at least we land somewhere in the realm of excellence (goes with the whole “Shoot for the moon, and if you miss you’ll land among the stars.” idea).

But recently God has been showing me that my impossible standards of perfection are causing unnecessary stress in my life, and ultimately it is an obstacle to me living in complete peace.

I recently heard that “perfectionism is the mother of procrastination.” This really made me stop and think. Yes, perfectionism causes me to strive for a ridiculous level of excellence in all that I do, but often times it would halt me in my tracks altogether. If I knew that I was unable to reach whatever level of perfection I expected of myself, I would often put it off or maybe not do it altogether, because I feared the sense of failure that I knew would inevitably come. Perfectionism can bind you and keep you from living fully and pursuing all that God has for you.

I don’t want to live that way. I don’t want to be bound by the unrealistic expectations that perfectionism places on me, or the people around me.

This process of realization for me really began when I became a mom. Suddenly, I had this little human who was relying on me in order to survive and thrive in this world…and just as suddenly, I was unable to do and be all that I used to for everyone else. And that was upsetting. I had expected myself to be Supermom and at the same time still be able to maintain the level of involvement and excellence in ministry, relationships, hobbies, work, house keeping, cooking, etc. that I always had. This was impossible. I wasn’t perfect..I’m not perfect, and I’m not able to be all things to all people (including myself.)

I love this passage in 2 Corinthians 2:8-10 where the Apostle Paul tells about how he was asking God to take away his weaknesses…

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.‘ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

It is okay for us to not be perfect. It is in our imperfection, in our weaknesses, that God is able to work in and through us and HIS strength is perfect to help us. What a blessing that is! That sure does take a lot of pressure off of me, knowing that He will make up for any area that I’m not strong in. His grace is more than enough.

Does this mean I will suddenly stop striving for excellence? No, not at all. I believe in doing things well. I believe that honors God greatly. But when things aren’t perfect, and my weaknesses are exposed loud and clear, I will breathe deeply and know that it’s okay. God’s grace is enough.

As Emily Ley says, I will hold myself to “a standard of grace not perfection.”

How about you? Are you a perfectionist? Are there areas in your life where you feel like you need to let go and embrace imperfection, and let God’s grace be enough?

One of my goals for this year is to be more intentional about cultivating community in my life. Honestly, it’s something I haven’t been so great at the past couple of years. Sure, I see many people I love at church throughout the week and at events, but I haven’t been consistent with making much of an effort outside of that. At least not as much as I would like.

I have this terrible tendency when I’m going through a hard time or when I’m hurting to want to draw back into my little shell. I have a feeling that I’m not alone in this (can I get an “Amen!”?). I think it’s something that a lot of us do. We think that drawing back and building up walls will protect and heal us, but in reality it does quite the opposite. Isolation is a silent killer.

When we isolate ourselves from others, we quickly begin to feel lonely, and when we feel lonely we begin to think that no one cares, and then that can lead to depression and a myriad of other things that are really based on lies. Basically, we were not created to live life alone.

The Lord God himself said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) I know this scripture is referring to a man/woman relationship, but I think it applies to so much more.

Jesus led the perfect example for us in how to live in community. He surrounded himself with the twelve disciples, and they did ministry together, but they also just lived life together. That is what we were created for, to live life together…not alone.

In our culture today and with the prominence of technology and social media, it is easy to feel a false sense of connection. We go onto Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest to fill this void and this need for connection with others. That is not true connection. I’m not against all of those tools…I think they are great, when used in moderation and in the right ways. But I long for the day where we spend more time interacting and connecting with people face-to-face than with a screen.

One thing that may hold you back from connecting with others is that you feel like you don’t have any good friends nearby. I completely understand. I have moved a lot in my life, especially during my high school years. In the course of four years, I went to four different high schools. It was hard. I was shy and I liked the friends that I grew up with, I didn’t want to move. But I also wanted to have friends where I was.

I’ll never forget the time I was talking with my mom after one of our moves about the fact that I felt like I didn’t have any friends. She told me, “Tiffany, if you want to have a friend, you’ve got to be a friend.” That simple conversation changed my mindset on friendships forever. (Thanks, Mom!)

Even when you are the new person somewhere, you cannot put all the pressure of connecting and initiating a friendship up to the other person. That’s a lot to expect of someone. But instead, we all need to take the initiative to be a friend to someone. BE the kind of friend you want to have, and I am sure that you will be blessed with that kind of friend in return. It goes back to the whole “you reap what you sow” concept. Pretty nifty, if you ask me.

Creating a sense of community in our lives with the people around us takes work. It doesn’t just happen. It’s something we have to tend to and cultivate, much like a garden. It takes effort on our part. But don’t give up…keep planting those seeds, continue tending to those friendships, and I promise you it will be worth it!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t like living in isolation. It’s kinda stinky. So, let’s all make an effort to cultivate community in our lives.

What are some practical things that you have done (or would like to do) in order to build community and tend to the friendships in your life?

We have this magnet on our refrigerator, and it is a constant reminder to me that the future I have always dreamed of starts with today.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.” - Henry David Thoreau

What a challenging quote that is! I don’t want to get to the end of my life with regrets and questions of “what if?” But this is often easier said than done. We can get so caught up in the routine and busyness of the every day, that we forget to take steps toward the dreams we long for. We have difficulty seeing the forest through the trees, as they say.

Sometimes as Christians I think we tend to take a passive approach when it comes to our dreams. We sometimes say, “Well, if it is God’s will, then it will happen.” And while I do believe that God can just make things happen in our lives (He is God, after all), I also think that he wants us to actively pursue the dreams he has placed in our hearts. We were not created to just live our lives passively with a “whatever happens, happens” mentality.

In Matthew 7:7-8 Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Do you notice all those verbs there? The ones that are prompting us to do something? Ask, seek, knock. Those are anything but passive.

Another excuse we may use is “Well, I only want to do what God wants me to do, I don’t want to pursue my own dreams, only his.” Now, don’t get me wrong here, there is nothing wrong with that last sentence! I think that same way. I don’t want to just pursue what I want just because I want to. Here is where we often make the mistake though…we often ignore our dreams because of this mindset. BUT I believe that when we are truly living for God, and putting him first in our lives, he is the one who gives us those dreams. He aligns our dreams with his. Those are dreams and desires that he placed within us. So why, then, would we ignore them?

As I am typing all of this out, it is also a little pep talk for myself. So I am right here with you needing to be reminded of these words as well.

Pursuing our dreams can be terrifying sometimes. But it is a fear that is definitely worth facing! I encourage you…write your dreams down, pray about them, ask God for help (and make sure they line up with his will for your life), and then take the first step toward living that dream. And don’t think small…think BIG! You are capable of way more than you think (especially when you’re relying on God, he can help you do anything).

So, what are the dreams you have that you want to start living toward today? Maybe you want to become debt-free, get healthy, enter a new career, write a book, start a family, go on a missions trip, get your degree, or change the world…the possibilities are endless. Whatever your dreams may be, big or small, I encourage you…don’t ignore them. Start living the life you’ve imagined.

[This is also why I think goal setting is so important. It will help you so much if you realize your dreams and then turn those dreams into goals and start working toward them. So, if you haven’t set goals for yourself this year already, I encourage you to. If you need some help or inspiration for this, Lara Casey’s blog series on goal setting is amazing!]

As I’ve been working through and refining my goals for 2014, I’ve chosen a word that I want to define this coming year for me: PEACE.

In general, last year was not very peaceful for our family. It was quite the opposite.

I used to think that I would only have true peace when difficult things stopped happening, when our circumstances turned around and all was good again. But during the hardest year of my life, I learned that I could have peace in the midst of the storm.

The only way we can truly experience peace in our lives is when we completely surrender our life and our circumstances to God, and trust Him.

It’s definitely not always easy. In fact, holding onto peace can be quite challenging, especially when you’re experiencing great heartache or trouble. But it is possible. Peace is not usually something that just happens. It is something we have to actively pursue on a daily basis.

Let me clarify, peace is easily attainable. God wants all of us to walk in peace, it is a gift that he freely gives and withholds from no one. But too often our thoughts, emotions, our need for answers, our struggle for control, etc. stand in the way of that.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal.” – Isaiah 26:3-4

Peace is a promise. And God always keeps his promises. All we need to do is trust him.

That is one of my major goals this year, to walk in complete PEACE. For me, this means saying NO to worry, fear, anxiety, stress, my need and desire to know what “the plan” is, expectations of perfection, and my need for the approval of others. And it means saying YES to trusting and being still and knowing that HE is God.

What word would you like to define 2014 for you? If you have no idea, I encourage you to take some time to think on this carefully. And feel free to come back and share in the comments below what your word is for the year.

I pray that this next year is peaceful for you as well. May God’s peace wrap around you like a fuzzy blanket on a cold winter’s day (such as today) and may it stay with you throughout the year.

[The same day that I decided that "Peace" was going to be my word for this year, Jonathan found one of my favorite mugs, pictured above, that I had misplaced. I loved that little confirmation, and I look forward to drinking my coffee or tea from this mug throughout the year as a reminder.]